Judaism and Relationships
As a Rabbi, a paramount role since the onset of my Rabbinate was human connection and communication with temple members. Leading a service is of utmost importance as a Rabbi and a religious leader, but leadership serves beyond the bima. When a Rabbi graduates from school, we walk away with the tools to produce a service, the knowledge to compose a sermon, and the importance of procuring Jewish education for the community we will serve. However, and just as integral, in school, I attained a deeper comprehension of human beings and how my role can impact others. From my earliest days as a Rabbi I have valued the role I play as a spiritual leader in the lives of my congregants, temple friends, my family, and the local community. As a leader, we often learn more when we open our hearts with compassion to those we serve. For any family, couple, or individual who has asked for my guidance during their easy and challenging times, those are the moments in which I have built strong-held meaningful bridges between the Jewish faith and our mental wellbeing.
When one entrusts me with their need for rabbinical support, it is that very role that I have held with sacredness.
As I can lament, no relationship, nor life as we know it is easy, but when we hold the courage to seek support we let ego take a second seat to human welfare.
As a Rabbi, I have counseled many, and one goal has remained consistent: offering help with care and the guidance of Judaism. In Jewish tradition, relationships are the epitome of holiness; a sacred bond that connects the human soul to another. Relationships stem from partners, children and parent, friendships, or any courtship that has meaning, depth, and healthy boundaries. But as cited before, life is unpredictable and often we face challenges or turmoil in our relationships, more often than not, the relationship we have with ourselves can be our greatest work.
In Torah, Jewish relationships are molded around the essence of belonging, believing, and behaving, each acting as a testament of our faithfulness to ourselves and to others. Yet, in life, we will be faced with tests but it is how we respond to those tests in relation to the three pillars of believing, belonging, and behaving. Today I urge you all to remember this, we are only human. If each person sought my guidance in only good matters I would doubt this world. I would doubt the ethics of humans being human. In relationships and in life we will make mistakes, we will be tempted and we will test the waters. Ultimately, that is how we learn, how we grow, and how we foster a better version of ourselves.
In relationships, we cannot force love on a partner, but we can find ways to re-connect and re-build. As for parenting, this is the most rigorous role many have humbly shared with me. My late wife raised my four boys so I could lead a congregation with hope, love, and care knowing my time at home was faced with my commitments at the temple. Life is a balancing act and often less easy than we anticipate. Where would Torah guide us from here? Torah would remind us to set aside ego from asking for support. Torah would remind us that we are human and we can only try our best. In life, we will have rough patches, but see that as an opportunity for growth and self-development. A sentence I hear in abundance these days, “life is short, so make it your best”, and how true that is.
So, tonight, embrace your children with a hug from the soul and relish the moments with them at any age. With your partner, look into the eyes of the other and let the reflection you see help guide your heart.
Many have asked me, “Rabbi, is my partner my soul mate?”, and often the answer is two-fold. Everyone walks into our world for a reason knowingly or unknowingly. Is it in our innate nature to care and to love, to want to help others, and to be a supportive resource. As a Rabbi, these are the very reasons that I have spearheaded my rabbinical role beyond the bima. Human connection is essential to our Judaic values, and when we allow our hearts to lead with compassion in all relationships, we allow ourselves to soften and understand the deepest purpose of every relationship we have or have had with friends, family, partners, and even acquaintances.
Remember, life is never as transparent as we have hoped. Every type of relationship will have its rigors, but the test is how we react to the challenges. I, as your friend and Rabbi, am always here to offer support. To my family, I am here for you as well, as I know you are here for me. It is the love and aid we offer each other and our community that fuels the very meaning of the circle of life.
